"A Friendly Exorcise" by Talmage Powell

“A Friendly Exorcise”

By Talmage Powell

From the collection “Alfred Hitchcocks’s Behind the Death Ball” (1974)

Tagline: That master hustler of horror chalks up a new high in terror.

This short story begins with an old, sweaty sock caressing a young wife’s face on its own.  In this tale a young couple, Jim and Judy Thornton move to a new house. They are additions to the neighborhood and know nothing about their home when, right away, the haunting begins.  Jim doesn’t believe his wife until his meat bone starts hopping around on his dinner plate and must grab it and smack it down. 

Judy decides this must be the poltergeist of Andy Bickleford who lived with his parents in the house before Jim and Judy moved in.  She feels Andy is harmless because the worst he ever did was toss Jim’s bone around. 

As in most ghost fiction, Judy feels she needs to help Andy find peace.  She tries to solve the mystery of why he’s sticking around by writing the most convoluted note outlining her theory and she turns out to be correct. 

I enjoyed this story a lot even though the living were more entertaining than the dead.  I suppose you can’t fault a spirit for being confused and, therefore, random in their haunting.  I’m sure that sending messages to the living from beyond the grave can be difficult depending on what communication resources you have as a ghost. 

My Favorite Line

“The steak bone made like a Mexican jumping bean all of a sudden, rapping against the plate.”

The Spoiler Bits

In order to give a full analysis I will have to spoil the ending.  I'm not going to tell the entire story so you will still be able to read the story for the full picture. Highlight the section below to read the spoiler:

Young Andy Bickleford doesn’t is a pure poltergeist.  He has no form at all but he can move things with the intention of sending a message about who killed him.  Turns out he was killed by the neighbor because had seen something he shouldn’t have. We’re not given the whole story but the neighbor seems to have set Andy up in his fancy red sports car and sent him off a cliff. Once Judy solves the mystery and the neighbor is brought to justice, Andy’s job is done and he disappears. 

Official GOMS Classification

Level 4 Communicating Poltergeist

Haunting has no form recognizable as human but attempts to convey ambiguous messages with abstract actions.

Scared Beyond the Book?  No

Am I scared of this ghost now?  No.  If all of this were happening to me I would be scared at first but then very annoyed.  I don't want socks touching my face or my food to jump around on the plate.

Other Thoughts

* As a new wife myself I am happy to say that I know my husband would completely believe me if a stinky sock caressed my face.

* Want to know more about Talmage Powell?  Check out vintagelibrary.com. You may be able to read the full story here.  I had trouble opening it. Hope you have better luck!

* Sorry I can't make better boner jokes.  I tried.  If you can do better, I welcome it in the comments.