"Honeysuckle Cottage" by P.G. Wodehouse

"Honeysuckle Cottage"
by P.G. Wodehouse
From the collection The Mammoth Book of 20th Century Ghost Stories (1998)
Edited by Peter Haining

Honeysuckle Cottage is about a confirmed bachelor, James Rodman, who lives in his late Aunt’s home. Leila J. Pinckney stated in her will that her nephew could make five thousand pounds if he stays in her home, Honeysuckle Cottage, for six months. She had been concerned that his profession as a gritty mystery author was making him bitter. She was famous for writing saccharine love novels that truly made him ill.  Despite their differences, Rodman liked the idea of living in this country home and writing in peace.

There isn’t a ghost in this story but there is a haunting presence that causes everyone who comes near the cottage to turn lovey dovey sops like a character from one of Leila Pinkney’s novels.  The cottage possesses all who come near it into playing out romance novel scenarios.  Rodman grows upset over the man he’s becoming.  He is powerless to the charms of a young woman whom he fears he may marry if he stays in the house any longer.  Rodman asks others to try and break this enchantment but they each fall into this mushy, sickly sweet fantasy.

Favorite line:

“Do you believe in ghosts?” asked Mr. Mulliner abruptly. […]

“Well,” I replied, “I don’t like them, if that’s what you mean.  I was once butted by one as a child.”

The Spoiler Bits: Highlight the text below to read

Rodman is at his worst moment, the point where is might succumb completely to the power of this cottage, when he must suddenly chase after a dog.  He just escapes over the property line and the hold over him just melts away completely.  He’s a free man once again and he never looks back at this sentimental madness that nearly swallowed him whole. 

This haunting was limited to a border and all caught inside were pulled in to believing they were playing a part in an orchestrated love story. Leila J. Pinckney’s aura after death was strong enough trap people in her romantic fantasies.  I don’t believe she meant to hurt anyone.  This isn’t even an intelligent haunting.  What happens in this story is merely a “fog” that influences the victims inside of it.  Rodman understands he’s under some sort of spell but isn’t quite strong enough to pull himself out of it until a dog helps him come to his senses.

Official GOMS Classification

Level 3 Atmospheric Thrallment

Punctuated with episodes of passion, the haunted within the location will feel moments of whimsical ardor and blatant fancy.

Scared Beyond the Book?  No

I'm not worried about this ever happening to me but I wouldn't want to lose my will to a house. 


Conclusion

* P.G. Wodehouse regarded this as one of his funniest stories.  I could completely see Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie acting out various parts in this story.